Jesus said to turn the other cheek. So, was being slapped on the cheek something that happens once in a lifetime, or something we have to deal with daily?
I believe that most of Jesus' important principles were meant for daily use. Take "Go the extra mile". We hear daily that others are trying to go the extra mile to serve us in come capacity, or the boss is telling us to go the extra mile to help a client.
Turning the other cheek is a concept for daily use. It is the primary means to stop an altercation with another person from escalating.
Our natural tendency is to be defensive. We are criticized, so we protest. Our defense puts up a wall the other person tries to go over; they do this by getting louder. Our defense gets louder, or rather, the wall gets higher, and a greater effort must be made by the other person to go higher, get louder.
What if we said, "Why are you raising your voice? Was I not listening to what you said?"
We then are asking the other person to judge us (slap the other cheek) by evaluating our listening. We are not being doormats. We are confronting a wrong--but in the nicest possible way. We are saying that their yelling is not acceptable. But we are doing it by asking them to judge how we were listening.
This is just one example. By confronting a wrong, we are not being timid, but strong. We are asking the other person to judge us in another aspect of our behaviour.
If I address some perceived fault of my dear wife, and she says, "Is there anything else I need to ask forgiveness for?", she is turning the other cheek.
No one says this is easy, or that it is learned overnight, or that it will instantly cure every bad relationship we have. It takes a lifetime to learn. It may not stop violence but it is our best shot, if used sincerely and not manipulatively.
What do you think? Send a tweet if you have a comment (@wmacvvg) or add a comment below. We'll talk more on this subject in the blog.
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Sounds like you're getting at the true meaning of "Turn the other cheek." The one that is a sort of anthem of intelligent resistance. The "Turn the other cheek" verse never was intended to mean to let people walk over you, it was meant to be a few examples for resisting those who had power over you without looking like a fool.
ReplyDeleteJust for the sake of posting this somewhere (I was trying to find the original article to show to a few friends, and it seems to be eluding me ... so I feel a need to do something about it) ...
1) Turning the other cheek: Law and culture from Jesus' time period and region stated that the left hand was used for only the most unclean of unclean things, so you will always be hit by someone's right hand. This means that Jesus, when he specified the right cheek (think about it, why else would he specify one cheek?), was talking about a backhanded slap, which was and is the gravest of insults, in that region (equivalent to spitting in someone's face, in western europe and the US), and most likely was done by someone who, by law, was the slap-receiver's (we'll name him Fred) better (so Fred can't quite hit him back without consequences). Turning the other cheek, in such a case, hides Fred's right cheek so that the slapper cannot backhand Fred again. Since an open palm slap is reserved for women and a closed fist is for equals (not necessarily an insult, just a sign of disagreement), there really isn't anything he can do to insult Fred again.
2) To go along with that, outer garments, by law, could be taken as collateral for unpaid debt, during the day, but had to be returned at night. It was a sign of utmost shame, and since the people Jesus was around were the poor, most of them probably had unpaid debts, so it is reasonable to assume that they regularly walked around without their outer garments. But, as you may remember from the story about Noah (I think), when someone has -no- garments on, the shame is on the person who views the naked person, not the naked person himself. So Jesus was saying to give up your undergarments so that the shame is on the debt collector, instead of on you - at which point any debt collector would probably hurriedly shove all of your garments back into your hands in a frantic attempt to get you to cover yourself, and leave you to walk around normally, without the shame of your debt being shown to every random passerby.
3) Walking the extra mile referred to a law that stated that a soldier was allowed to ask any citizen to carry his pack for a mile, but no more, and the citizen must carry it that mile. Think about a young, healthy, strong man asking a malnourished old man (Fred, again) to carry his pack. The joke's on Fred, right? Now think about Fred, at the mile marker, saying, "Oh, nah, save yer legs - this pack ain't that heavy. I can carry it another mile." Who looks the fool now, the old man who's carrying the pack, or the strong young soldier who has to ask an old man to carry his pack for him?
Now, I'm sure there are perfectly valid opposing arguments to these, and I can't seem to find the full article that I originally read that went into extra depth on each of these points (aaargh), but this is the set of beliefs I adhere to. We are warriors, we are meant to fight; it's just that our means of battle should be crafty and creative (and non-violent) whenever possible.
Thank you very much for responding. Hopefully, your taking the time to respond will be an investment in our both coming closer to the truth of what Jesus intended.
ReplyDeleteI view Turning the Other Cheek as a call to vigorous, proactive peacemaking.
The verse, while it is just a sound-bite, alerts us to the fact that we are facing an escalation. Jesus, whether dealing with a threat to himself, or to another person, always de-escalated.
In protecting women (a topic I hope to get to) Jesus appealed on the basis of good that was done (two cases), or in the stoning case, on the basis of the mob's double standard.
In all cases, there is in turning the other cheek, a turning of the situation to another for their judgment. We are asking them to judge us again. I gave the example of saying to a verbal attacker, "Why are you raising your voice; am I not listening to what you are saying?"
Likewise, Going the Extra Mile is a peacemaking effort; you are converting a soldier into a friend.
This is not pacificism. More is demanded of us than that. Whether we are soldier-diplomats like the returning soldier from Afghanistan whom I talked with at church yesterday, or simply a spouse trying to de-escalate, our job is to emulate God's mission in the world, making peace with us.