Turning the Other Cheek Followup

Here are some typical questions that arise


1. When did Jesus turn the other cheek? That's a good question, because we would expect Jesus to demonstrate every principle he encouraged his disciples to follow.

One example is this. When responding to persecution, Jesus said, "For which of my good works do you persecute me?" Now this response was in the vein of turning the other cheek, in that it invited an examination and judgement on the part of his detractors.

This response brought about several things.

First, it got the conflict out of the physical arena--because they were about to stone him--into the conflict of ideas and issues. For us, that's always the objective. We want to de-escalate from fists to a discussion of what went wrong, or why this person has a beef with us.

Secondly, it pointed out the incongruity of their persecution. Jesus had done good things; he had healed, he had fed, he had taught, he had encouraged the faint hearted. Instead of a defensive, How dare you persecute me? --he responded with a simple request to examine his good works.


2. A Second question arises about abusive relationships. And this is important because truly abusive relationships are dangerous. Many people are killed by a boyfriend or spouse because of an abusive relationship. Gavin de Becker, a foremost U.S. authority on threats, says that a woman in an abusive relationship has a shorter life expectancy than a woman on death row. So a person in an abusive relationship needs to get to a place of safety. (De Becker's book, The Gift of Fear: And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence is excellent).

Turning the other cheek is for other situations, ranging from great marriages, to situational domestic violence. The latter is where things just seem to always escalate between two people.


3. The third question arises from our normal or traditional thinking about this concept. Isn't this for the situation where one is persecuted for being a Christian, and about to be sent into the arena to fight lions, as occurred in ancient Rome. I would answer two ways. The first is that we can't expect to suddenly apply a biblical principle in some distant glorious moment. We won't understand it. We need to apply it on a daily basis with our friends, co-workers, and family members, so when the time of real testing comes, we'll have the insight to use it.

Secondly, don't forget, that turning the other cheek is what we do BEFORE there is violence. We de-escalate by inviting examination and judgment, instead of escalating with defensiveness.

4. So how do we correct the behaviour of the person who is doing the "hitting"? Well, we first correct our own behaviour, that is, our defensiveness, which is part of what drives the escalation. When we are sincere, turning the other cheek frequently gives us a secure platform from which to address the other person's wrongs. However, turning the other cheek sometimes by itself will bring about an openness about his or her own fault in the matter.

When slandered, Jesus did not slander in return. He said some powerful things to his persecutors, but it was to speak to their consciences, and not to "one up" them.

AND NOW, please leave a response, especially if you have tried this, regardless of what ensued as a result.