Understanding Gun Violence

People generally think of turning the other cheek as putting us in a position of weakness. The contrary is true, however; our adversaries expect us to act defensively, and they are taken aback by an unexpected response. They are caught off guard. It puts us in a position of strength, and gives us an opportunity to plan our next move. (In the following examples, please keep in mind that we are talking about everyday people caught up in potential or situational violence, not hard core gangsters, terrorists, chronic domestic violence, or serial killers.)

When we last looked at Turning the Other Cheek, "Followup" segment, we considered the case where Jesus was met with an angry mob who had picked up rocks and was ready to stone him. His response, "For which of my good works do you stone me?" changed the atmosphere such that he could talk about issues. And that is the whole purpose of turning the other cheek: We de-escalate a situation. We do so by asking the other person to stop and judge us in yet another way.

The person may have already judged us, and may want to punish us by escalating to something hurtful, either by what they say (condemning, ridiculing), or how they say it (a louder or more threatening tone). These situations can quickly escalate to the threat of physical violence, as it did with Jesus.

I want to talk about two additional results of Jesus turning the other cheek. The first was that it gave him time to execute his exit strategy. When Jesus was later facing arrest and death on the cross, he told the disciples that he could ask his Father, and He would send legions of angels to deliver him (although we know that was not his plan). But in most of his life, as in our lives, Jesus relied on natural means for his protection and his needs. He walked on water once; he got in a boat and asked the disciples to launch out many times.

Jesus' exit strategy was strange. We are told by the gospel writer that Jesus walked through their midst. I always saw that as miraculous. But there is something in this situation that is highly applicable to today's gun violence.

Gavin De Becker, a noted threat authority, says that as a child he saw one family member shoot another on more than one occasion. He learned that when the person backs away from the target, it meant that they would soon fire the weapon. The principle is, that guns (and in Jesus' case, stones) are very impersonal weapons at a distance. Up close, most people would not shoot. That is why many people are shot running from an assailant. So my point is, that by moving toward those who threatened him, Jesus secured an advantage for his safety.

The second additional result of Jesus turning the other cheek was that he personalized himself. These people perhaps knew Jesus at a distance. His engaging them on a personal level about his good works and his mission in this world made him more of a flesh-and-blood person, instead of an impersonal news maker.

I saw this vividly back in the late 60's on a trip to an Alabama state park with our Boy Scout troop; it was made up of kids from a federal housing project next to Georgia Tech. Some graduate students were along on this trip, and it was a mixed-race troop of scouts--not unusual for Atlanta, but extremely unusual for this Alabama community. First, someone released the brake on one of our vehicles; we returned after our swim to find it perched on the curb with the rear wheels off the ground.

We towed the car off its perch, left the park, and stopped to pick some plums at an orchard. A group of young guys, 18 to 20-ish, stopped their car, and I walked down and greeted them in a friendly way. The fact that there were three in the front seat and three in the back should have clued me to the fact that their purpose was not recreational. One told me that people would shoot us for bringing an integrated group into the park (not their exact words, as you can guess). I was so naive that I thought they were just helping us out by making us aware of this threat. So I thanked them profusely. I told them who we were, where we were from, and that we had permission to pick the plums. They didn't say anything more, and drove off. The other Tech students, including one whose father was a chief of police, got very excited when I told them what was said. But I know that my friendly, chatty manner kept that situation from escalating. I owed it all to my being so naive, and to some very effective guardian angels, who also had a great sense of humor, apparently.

Since then I have felt great empathy for those who had to live under the type of intimidation and fear that we saw in that particular Alabama community. I also felt a sense of loss for the teens who so narrowed their horizons by learning the ways of their parents in perpetuating that violence.

My hope is that teens as well as adults will learn skills of avoiding and of de-escalating violence--skills that become so second nature to them that they become automatic when there is little time to think.