Next Obama Speech: Fatherhood and Youth Violence

We've said that President Obama's speeches to school children should address youth violence. We've shown the precedent in King Solomon appealing directly to young men to avoid violence, as well as giving in the biblical book of Proverbs a model for fathers to talk to their kids.


Solomon's important sequel to the appeal found in chapter 1 of Proverbs occurs in chapter 24.


How do they do it? Strip the net time after time from half court, and any basketball-star want-a-be will say, "How does he or she do it?" That's how chapter 24 starts out. But it deals with the topic of envy. Generally we admire someone who excels in sports because of the self discipline athletics involves. But envy does not include admiration. The drug dealer has money; we don't admire, or perhaps even like him, but if he has money, people will ask the question, "How does he do that?"


Here are the verses (my paraphrase)

Don't envy evil people,

And don't desire to be with them,

For in their minds they devise violence,

And with their lips, they talk about making trouble.

Now, in Hebrew poetry, there is a rhyming of ideas. We should see "envy" connect to devising violence; we should see "with them" connect to making trouble.


If we just ask the question about how someone makes illegal money, we might not get into trouble. But when we try to answer that question, that's when we become their disciple. And as their disciples, we will learn how to come up with a plan to make money illegally. But that's where fathers come in.


Fathers have to be alert to point out people who are both successful and are admirable. Fathers take their kids to see great athletes and musicians perform. They go to museums where past achievements in science and industry are displayed. Even at amusement parks, fathers can point out the engineering feats involved in holding up a roller coaster.


Solomon's next point is about talk. When a kid comes up on a group of friends, he talks about what they are talking about. If it's sports, he talks about Friday night's game. If it's about school, he talks about something funny that happened in class. If it's about making trouble, he talks about making trouble. And when a group of teens talks about making trouble, serious trouble happens.


Fathers can help their children avoid serious trouble by knowing when to leave, that is, when the talk turns to trouble. Fathers can help their sons and daughters have the self confidence and courage necessary to walk away before the trouble starts and before it's too late.


The next section of Proverbs chapter 24 talks about how wisdom enables one to build a house, establish home, and fill the home with wonderful things. What we fill our homes with are the stepping stones to what we do outside the home--prepare for a career, visit far away places, meet people who are shaping our world.


The current housing disaster shows how people tried to buy houses they couldn't pay for. They didn't foresee the risks, and didn't prepare adequately by paring down other debt. They looked at homes that were out of their price range. Wisdom cures that. People like Dave Ramsey and other financial gurus increase our financial literacy. Some of them work closely with couples over a period of months to get on a budget, reign in their spending, and ultimately qualify for the best loans, not the sub-prime loads that got everyone, including Wall Street billionaires, in trouble.


People build homes and then can't live together in harmony. Jesus helps us with that--turning the other cheek, going the extra mile, forgiveness--all skills necessary to establish a home.


Finally, Solomon shows how wisdom increases the resources we have. He uses the example of war, where a superior strategy, and a multitude of advisers, can make a smaller army equal to a much larger army in winning a conflict. There is safety in a superior strategy.

All of this is in contrast to the strategy of the drug dealer, which will lead a young person to prison or death. If you would fill your home with wonderful things, do it legally. You can do it legally with a superior strategy (wisdom) and hard work. This is how most of the world operates. This is the message fathers have to communicate to their children.

Violence Against Women - Part I

Many of us do not think of Jesus as a protector of women. When we see the abuse of women in our culture, we don't have a Biblical solution because scriptures related to the subject do not come to mind. I would like to help by addressing three passages that relate to Jesus dealing with violence against women, with domestic violence issues, and with exploitation of women.

The first example clearly shows how Jesus protected a woman who was the victim of someone's political agenda. The passage is in the eighth chapter of John's gospel, where we see a woman "taken in the act of adultery". The Old Testament proscribed stoning for adultery. What did Jesus say?

First of all, we know that the crowd, at least the instigators, were seeking an opportunity to trap Jesus--either to have him repudiate the law of Moses, and thus God's authority, or to have him promote stoning outside the jurisdiction of the Roman authorities. The former would discredit him in the eyes of the people; the latter would provide a basis to accuse Jesus of initiating rebellion.

The amazing thing was this: the woman was simply a means to achieve their end. She was set up. These people had an air of spiritual indignation against her sin; some may have been sincere but were themselves used by those who plotted Jesus' downfall. But in this indignation, whether superficial or real, there was a total lack of concern for real justice (for where was the man involved in the adultery?). And there was a total lack of concern for the woman--no concern that she live a wholesome life, and no concern that she come to terms with her guilt before God for her part in the affair.

Jesus protected the woman by appealing to the consciences of the crowd: "Let him without sin cast the first stone." Regardless of their sincerity, these people had a double standard--they were hypocrites. The crowd disbanded, beginning with the oldest.

Then Jesus showed his concern for the woman and for her shame before God and those present. He showed the concern that should have been shown by those who had spiritual oversight and direct knowledge of the sin. Instead of using her, the leaders should have headed off this and any other sin on the woman's part; but they were the ones who allowed sin to fester and exploited it for their own purposes. But Jesus spoke of forgiveness: "Neither do I condemn you." Then he measured out an appropriate, effective admonition: "Go and sin no more."

I have to believe that the admonition was, in this case, appropriate adjudication of the law by the Lord of grace. In any case, we know that Jesus' response sprang from a genuine concern for her, for her needed assurance of the grace of God, and for her continued walk with the Lord who would go to the cross for both her and our sins. We know Jesus was sincere. And we know the results: she was protected from the violence of this mob and from her own destructive lifestyle.

One twist to this situation is that Jesus bent down and wrote on the ground when the men first demanded an answer to the stoning question. He seemed to ignore the question. At this point they began to ask rather than demand an answer. It became apparent to the crowd, and importantly, to the woman, that Jesus did not have to answer anything. The fact that he did answer conveyed to this woman that he was willing to put his life on the line for her—they could have stoned him.

As to writing on the ground, many scholars believe that Jesus was writing the names of women that these men had consorted with. I don’t know the answer to that; but I do know that if he didn’t write those names, Jesus assuredly wanted those names to come to mind, for his statement about those without sin casting the first stone spoke right to their consciences and to their double standard.

Of course, this passage from John chapter 8 is relevant in the sense that we tend to be hypocrites and overlook our own sins in condemning others.

But it is relevant also to the abuse of women in our culture because of the finality of Jesus’ protection. Jesus asked, “Does any man condemn you?” She replied that there were none. This sealed in her mind the fact that she did not have to look over her shoulder for someone coming after her the next day. The matter was ended. But women who are physically abused or threatened in our culture learn to live in constant fear. Even if their attackers are in prison, letters and phone calls from them can terrorize the victims long after the actual physical torment has ended.

We as Christian men and women need to dedicate ourselves to breaking this binge of terror that occurs daily in our cities. Pastors need to covenant with their denominational and community peers to deal with this problem from the pulpit. We need to support our respective states’ Attorneys General to find solutions in our laws and in how we handle domestic violence cases.

Most importantly, we need to teach young men and women about healthy relationships. The book, How to Avoid Falling in Love With a Jerk, by Dr. John Van Epp, is an excellent resource for steering young people into healthy relationships. We also should nip in the bud any wrong attitude towards the opposite sex, especially as we engage our children around the dinner table and in front of the TV.

Going the Extra Mile

Do you have a great story about customer service--about going the extra mile? Mine concerns my late mother's lunch out with some other "seasoned-citizens" in Dalton, Georgia. The ladies finished their meal, and were standing in the doorway of the restaurant, staring out into a North Georgia rainstorm, with not a single umbrella among them. Right across the street, bank president Marshall Mauldin gazed out his third story window, saw the ladies' predicament, grabbed his huge golf umbrella and rushed down several flights of stairs and across the street. After the ladies were escorted to their car, and were driving out of the parking lot, one turned to my mom and said, "I'm moving my money tomorrow!" My mom didn't have the heart to say that Marshall was my boyhood friend, and Marshall grew up with her encouragement, such as, "Don't worry about making all A's, Marshall; you'll be loaning all those guys their money some day."--and she was right!

No statement of Jesus has been more incorporated into our daily culture than this one. Everyone has a great story about client service, customer service, going the extra mile for the boss, and so on. Christians are called to be salt and light in our culture. But is it accurate to apply this saying just to customer service?

Consider the historical setting this saying is drawn from. A Roman soldier traveling to a new assignment in Israel with his earthly belongings in a huge backpack could request a local citizen, probably a teenager, to carry his pack one mile. Now if you know anything about teens, you know sometimes they have other interests; and even as parents, we often have to get in line for their time. I can visualize that soldier as the end of the mile approaches, and the teen begs off. "This is where we always stop," I can hear one say. The soldier is incredulous - "We've got a quarter-mile to go." The soldier has seen much combat, but he is no match for this particular teen's stubborn nature; so he gives up the argument, and starts looking for someone else to snatch up for the job. The soldier is far from home, and arguments with locals make him feel even further away from family.

The next teen has a friendly disposition, but the soldier is not in a chatty mood. As they approach the end of the first mile in silence, the soldier starts eying the teen out of the corner of his eye, waiting for some kind of shirking. At a mile and a quarter, the soldier grants him leave, but the teen keeps going. The soldier wonders; who is this kid? What's his home town. What's his family like? The teen receives a quick tour of the world, courtesy of one who has seen it all. The teen has learned the joy of hospitality; his will be the friendly face the soldier looks for his next time through.

I like to imagine two brothers discussing the soldiers and their various reactions. Then they stop mid sentence; their jaws drop; their eyes brighten; "Maybe this will work on dad!"

Teens who took this encouragement from Jesus would win a benefactor or two for their communities and families. Whether it was a soldier or a dad, each friend would now aspire to their God-given calling as protectors instead of "hasslers".

But if you think you can win every one's heart by just doing more, you have forgotten that this is something you do with someone, not necessarily for someone. Some will never be pleased by what you do. So focus on doing it with them, not for them. Your objective is to make a friend, not win over a customer.

Consider the efficacy of this tool; it enables one to cross a vast distance across racial, cultural, and religious divides. It is quintessential peacemaking. And sometimes the greatest cultural divide is between a teen and a parent. It has been a wonderful privilege to see teens embrace this attitude of service over the years. They are sincere and amazingly consistent, demonstrating that teens are the most trainable, the quickest to rise to a challenge, and the most encouraged by positive feedback; a teen's work ethic can surprise and challenge us all.

Is Tradition the Enemy of Truth?

First, let's establish the fact that we are not talking about church tradition. We are talking about every-day actions, that cumulatively form a tradition of how people behave.


There are two examples of this that readily come to mind in the scriptures. One deals directly in this area of peace.


In the Sermon on the Mount, where I am taking most of Jesus' sayings (Gospel of Matthew, chapters 5, 6, and 7), Jesus said something like this (to paraphrase), "You know that most people are saying Eye for and Eye, and Tooth for Tooth; but, I am telling you, do not resist an evil person." Jesus then talks about: turning the other cheek, going the extra mile, and loving one's enemies.


Now when Moses gave the command Eye-for-Eye, and Tooth-for-Tooth, it was in the context of the administration of justice - i.e., that in court, the punishment should fit the crime. Moses, as God's spokesperson, was saying that it was wrong to chop off someone's hand for petty theft. Moses would also say it was wrong to slap a man's wrist, as often happens today, for beating up his wife.


But this rule, that applied to judicial situations, was being applied in personal situations. Jesus was addressing the tradition, or practice, of using this biblical quotation to justify paying people back for everyday wrongs. Someone told me once, "I don't get even, I get ahead!" And that's the attitude Jesus was addressing.

Jesus also addressed another tradition of dedicating money "to God" that one would otherwise use to help his or her elderly parents. Jesus said that their traditions were being put before the commandment of God, notably, one of the Ten Commandments, to honor their father and mother. They were in effect, nullifying God's command to follow their own tradition.

So that is one reason we need to get a FRESH LOOK at Jesus' sayings, because they have in many cases been nullified or minimized by centuries of tradition. That fresh look is the goal of this blog.

Look at it this way: If Jesus is called the Prince of Peace, then his followers should be making a big impact on this country in the way of bringing about peace within our families and on our streets. (And many Christians are impacting their communities in this way.) Perhaps we need to dust off these sayings and see how we can really apply them. What do you think?